Reminiscing about the happy moments during your time together can make the breakup hard to get past. Dana Bottari , LCSW, a psychotherapist based in Florida, says that at the start of a relationship, our thoughts tend to be happy and uplifting.
However, when the relationship ends, your thoughts may be mixed. Thoughts affect feelings, and feelings affect actions, she says. For example, you may skip showering or avoid getting together with friends and family. To validate your emotions, it may help you to reframe your thoughts. While some people take time to be alone, look inward, or see a therapist to work through the complicated emotions of a breakup, others may suppress painful feelings and jump into another relationship.
When you make time for self-inquiry and self-reconnection, Moffa says that this can lead to connection with what may have once brought you peace, joy, or inspiration but was put on hold during your relationship. When you are feeling low about yourself, consider making a list of all the good things you did for your past partner or all the qualities they liked about you — and the qualities you like about yourself. For example, you might write a self-love list like this:.
When thoughts of your ex arise, try not to stop or block them. When the thoughts come up, take a step back and acknowledge them.
You observe them. You are now judging them. Judging brings more negative emotions since your expectations were not met. When the pain of a breakup is too hard to bear, you may find that focusing on the needs of others can help bring feelings of wellbeing and distract you from focusing on yourself, explains Bottari.
You may find it helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about emotions related to your breakup or ex-partner. I don't know who needs to hear this, but journaling is one of the easiest, most effective ways to process your emotions, says Tatyana Dyachenko.
If you have zero idea what to write about, try starting with these prompts: What did you learn about yourself in this relationship? What are some things that made you unhappy in this relationship? What are some things that made you happy in the relationship? And don't worry, if writing pen-to-paper is so not your thing, try texting your thoughts out in your Notes tab or typing them into a Word document.
Both are very therapeutic options if you have a lot to say and don't feel like getting a writing cramp.
Try doing this once a day for five minutes, and I promise, you'll either feel better or, at the very least, have a better understanding of the breakup and why you feel the way you do. Similar to journaling, writing a letter to your ex without having any intention of actually sending it can be super therapeutic too, says dating expert Krysta Monet. This is your open letter from beginning to end. After you've written your letter, seal it up and place it somewhere out of sight for a few months.
When you revisit it or stumble upon it later, you will more than likely have a better understanding of why the relationship had to come to an end, says Monet. This is the clarity we want, my friend. Sorry, but closure doesn't exist. And the truth is, you're never going to find what you're looking for by hoping for "closure. Self-closure is the only type of closure worth seeking. In other words, stalking your ex's Instagram or calling them every drunk Saturday night saying you need closure is not going to do anything but hinder your progress.
Listen, you don't want to ignore your feelings. If you're sad, be sad. Spend time in nature. Prioritizing self-care means learning how to be your own best friend and cherishing your beautiful self because when you love yourself, you will attract someone who loves themselves, too.
Here's more on how to get over a breakup the healthy way. We live in a beautiful world. Care for it, protect it, play with it. If you want to go to Machu Picchu, run that half-marathon, or adopt a child, do it.
Life is short. The only dreams that will come true are the ones you pursue. Our FREE doctor-approved gut health guide. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! Main Navigation. Log in Profile. Saved Articles. Contact Support. Log Out. Your cart is empty. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world.
Explore Classes. She has a B. Last updated on March 28, Here's a step-by-step guide on how to get over heartbreak. Avoid contact for 60 to 90 days. Fall in love with your life. Forgive them. Focus on what you want. Speak kindly to yourself.
Avoid social media stalking. Stop overanalyzing it. Trust the process. Believe in love.
0コメント